Animals have it so easy.
If you’re born a bear, that’s all you ever need to be.
No student loans no ex-girlfriends no resumes.
After a couple years you just become an adult bear.
No need for the almighty morning Cup of Joe because
all you have to do is be a bear today.
We have to feel bad about watching Netflix
when we should be making connections on LinkedIn
so we can get a job where tucked-in-shirts are encouraged
but not mandatory and talk to our coworkers about something
weird our boss said in that last email blast.
We have to establish credit
and look for an apartment that’s
close to downtown but not so close that it’ll
be loud when those drunk college kids return from the bars
on Wednesday nights when
we are trying to listen to podcasts in our
breakfast nook after catching up on episodes of
The Bachelorette that we Tevoed.
We have to distrust CNN because we
read an article on NPR.org about blah blah blah
and we have to hate Guy Fieri
and get excited about IPA’s we haven’t tried
and clearance rack hoodies from TJ Maxx.
Bears wake up each morning and look for
berries or honey or something and roar and
go back to bed in a cave.
Bears don’t even know who Guy Fieri is.
By Fletcher Bonin